


With Blood

by ukuleelee



Category: Hannibal (TV), Pusher (Refn Movies)
Genre: Bryan Fuller - Freeform, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Hannigram - Freeform, Hugh Dancy - Freeform, M/M, Mads Mikkelsen - Freeform, Not Hannigram focused, Tonny is a bean, Violence, don't fight me on this, friendships, i'm really doing this as i go, idk how to tag i'm sorry, maybe smut but who knows
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukuleelee/pseuds/ukuleelee
Summary: 11:43pm, Tonny steps foot on the last bus out of town. In his pockets he has nothing but a shitty cellphone, 6.20 Danish krone, two cigarettes and half a gram of cocaine.He holds in his arms his only source of hope.A baby. His child. It's the only thing Tonny cares about. The one single thing on his mind.That, and the blood on his hands.__________I've always seen Tonny as being a genuinely good person, and although people may disagree, this is how I wanted to portray him.





	1. The Bus

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story is based immediately after the ending of the film Pusher II: With Blood on My Hands. The first chapter is short as it is simply there to establish Tonny's situation for those who may not be familiar with the film. Tonny is a character whom I have always loved and I've always believed he deserved far more than he got. So I've decided to give it to him.
> 
> There will be appearances made by other characters (Will Graham will be there, although not as a romantic interest. However they will have a very good dynamic so I hope you stick around to see some of that, and there will be some Hannigram also.)
> 
> I would like to add that for the sake of easy reading, all speech will be written in English, despite the fact that (in reality) it would obviously be spoken in Danish as it is set in Denmark.
> 
> That is all for this little introduction/clarification. Now onto the story.
> 
> Enjoy :) Please feel free to leave comments/kudos, both would be much appreciated!

11:43pm. Tonny sat in the window seat of a bus, fourth row from the front, on the bottom floor. Yellow light from the fluorescent street lamps flooded in through the window, creating a blanket of warmth across his skin. The bus was empty other than himself, an old man with a brown paper bag sat at the front, and the baby in Tonny's lap. His fist held tightly to the baby's clothes, not wanting to let him fall, and he fights the fatigue slowly creeping up on him. The light blinded his eyes, which were already burning from the tiredness taking over his body. He let them close for a second. Just a second.

The sound of a car horn jolted him awake and he inhaled sharply, before sighing and shifting in his seat to wake himself up, whilst he tightened his grip on the baby's puffy blue onesie. He looked down at the little bald head in front of him, in awe of the pure innocence contained in the tiny child's body. He lifted a hand to pull a hood over the child's head and moved him up to rest on his shoulder, one hand still wrapped around his back for support. 

Just as he moved his legs to get comfortable, the bus screeched to a halt and the baby woke, beginning to cry at the sudden movement. The bus driver turned in his seat and flicked a button above him, lowering the pressure of the tyres and opening the doors beside him.

"Bus stops here. Everybody off." He said, his speech mumbled as he tried to move his lips around the unlit cigarette in his mouth. Fear struck Tonny in the heart. He couldn't bring himself to move from his seat as he stared at the map on the back of the seat two rows in front. They were four stops away from the end of the line, on one of the worst streets in Copenhagen. It wasn't good.

Tonny stood slowly and made his way to the driver's seat. Surely he could persuade the man to go to the next stop at least. Surely the driver would not be so cruel to make him leave, with a baby in his arms.

However Tonny knew this wasn't true. He'd experienced the cruelty of this city first hand, and he'd dealt out his fair share of it too. Taking his chances, he decided to ask, even knowing the odds were slim.

"Do you think you could drop us at the next stop? He's gonna get cold if we have to walk," Tonny asked, adding a "please" as an afterthought and nodding towards the baby in his arms, whilst he tried to be as polite as he knew how.

"Not my fucking problem is it? Maybe you should think about getting him some warmer clothes then, ey?" The driver finished and went to light his cigarette. When he noticed Tonny still standing there, he sighed and nodded towards the door, impatiently.

Tonny clenched his jaw, turned and walked out the door without another word. He wrapped his arms tightly around the baby and began to walk hastily in the direction he could only hope would lead him somewhere better than here.

Anywhere would be better than here.


	2. The Night

The cold night air pricked the back of Tonny's neck like a thousand needles, and never had he regretted the choice of a shaved head more than he did in this very moment. His arms were wrapped as tight as possible around the baby in his arms, but he did not want to squeeze too hard for fear of hurting the poor child. The line between warmth and pain was so thin, and it was a line he could not cross. 

His feet slowly began to pick up the pace as his brisk walk turned into something more; he was jogging now, desperate to get to the next street. Maybe he could find a motel, with an owner who would take pity on them. His stomach turned at the notion. Pity? Never in his life had he wanted such a thing, and the weak, spineless bastards who thrived on it made him sick. But he was willing to use it. He was willing to become one of those weak, spineless bastards if it meant safety. If it meant a roof over their heads. 

As he turned a street corner he saw a motel, sandwiched in between a bar and a modern looking restaurant. His feet carried him towards the motel, walking slower again now to calm his breathing in an attempt to seem far more at ease than he actually was. 

Pushing open the cracked wooden door, Tonny stepped forward, and was immediately hit by the smell of the stuffy old reception. A mixture of tobacco, stale beer and piss. "Lovely," he muttered under his breath as he began to walk towards the shabby wooden desk on the far side of the room. Sat behind it was an older woman, presumably in her late 60s, with grey hair, sagging skin and a cigarette made mostly of ash hanging from her lips. She looked up at Tonny over her half-moon glasses, and said nothing, clearly waiting for him to state his business.

"Do you have a room?" He asked, then remembered again. "Please." 

The lady reached to the wall behind her and took a brass key with a blue paper tag off a hook, then placed it on the desk above her. 

"Thirty for the night, free breakfast in the morning," she stated bluntly, signing a piece of paper before she looked back up at Tonny, and frowned at the vacant expression on his face. "We don't take card, so if you need to get the money out there's an ATM on the corner."

6 krone. 6 fucking Danish krone. That's it. Tonny could feel the loose coins weighing his pocket down as he frowned over the edge of the desk.

"Do you have anything.. cheaper?" He asked, almost too ashamed to make the words come out. The lady simply looked at him with raised eyebrows, before laughing and putting her cigarette in an overflowing ash tray on her desk before taking another one from a packet in the top pocket of her off-white shirt and placing it between her lips. When she realised he was still standing there, she sighed at Tonny and replied with an unimpressed 'no', before lighting her cigarette.

"Okay. Thanks for your help," He said sarcastically under his breath, before turning and leaving the building as fast as he could without letting his panic show through. Once he was outside again, he stopped, leaned against the brick wall of the motel and closed his eyes. A drop of water fell on his closed eyelid, and as he looked up he realised it was beginning to rain.

On any other night he would have sworn. He would've shouted to the sky and smashed a bottle against a street lamp. But tonight, he didn't even have the energy to sigh. He turned and began walking towards the restaurant to his left, well aware that it was most likely close to closing time.

As he opened the smooth glass door, the smell that hit him was a far more pleasant one - the familiar smell of burgers, french fries and ice cold beer. He could have sworn he almost smiled. Looking around, Tonny noticed that the place was rather empty, aside from a couple of people dotted around, and so he walked over to a small, two person table in the back corner of the room and sat down, placing the small baby on his knee, facing towards him. The crying had stopped for now, but he knew that if he didn't feed the child soon, their night would begin to get even worse.

Whilst looking at the poor child's face, he failed to notice the young man standing beside his table. He was blonde with pale skin, wearing a black shirt, bow tie, and a white apron tied around his waist.

"Sir?" the man said, searching Tonny's face for any confirmation he'd heard him. He nodded, deciding a simple 'yes' would suffice. "Sir, I'm very sorry but we are scheduled to be closing in around fifteen minutes." The young waiter didn't look a day over sixteen. 

"Shit," was all Tonny could bring himself to say as he rubbed his hands over his face and breathed heavily. "Okay, thanks. I'll get going in five." The waiter nodded in response and smiled uncertainly, before walking away. Tonny watched him as he walked over to the bar and spoke discreetly to a brown, curly haired man wearing a plain white shirt with some buttons undone, polishing glasses as he leant in to hear his colleague more clearly. The man nodded, and that was the last thing Tonny remembered seeing before his eyes closed for a second, and somehow forgot to open again. 

 

When he awoke from his sleep an undetermined time later, Tonny's heart stopped. Looking down, he noticed his lap was empty. Panic stricken, he jumped up from his chair, looking frantically around him, and he began to bolt for the door before a voice stopped him.

"Hey, welcome back." Tonny turned to see the brown haired man from earlier standing behind the bar, holding his baby and tilting a baby bottle into its mouth. There was a slight accent in his voice. American, maybe? The man smiled and gestured towards an empty stool at the bar, which Tonny soon walked towards and sat on.

"If it's alright with you do you think I could have my fucking baby back, please?" Tonny asked, in a serious tone. The man seemed unfazed by his comment and walked around the bar towards him, handing him both the baby and the bottle before taking a seat two stools down. "You know you can't just take my kid and start shoving a bottle in his face? You could've woke me up?" He continued, trying to manoeuvre the child so the bottle balanced right against his mouth.

The man from the bar just smiled. "I'm sorry. You're right." Tonny looked up, shocked. Right? Never in his life had he been right, never had he been anything other than a failure and an idiot. Words failed him, and the man could see this, so he continued.

"I should've woken you up, but you seemed tired and I knew we had formula in the back, so I figured I'd just quickly feed the baby then put him back and give you some formula to go whenever you got up." He paused, smiling. "Obviously, you woke up a lot quicker than I imagined." 

Both men sat in silence as time passed. The brown haired man stood to get a glass of water, and placed it beside Tonny on the bar, before placing a shiny metal key beside it. Tonny looked down at them, puzzled, then back up at the man.

"There's a room upstairs. I was planning on using it when I bought the place but it never turned out that way, so it never gets used. Feel free to take it for the night, no charge." He smiled.

"What makes you think I need a room?"

"What sort of guy brings a baby to a place like this, dressed in tracks and a jumper, when he has somewhere better to go?"

Tonny couldn't help but laugh, it was true after all. He looked up at the man and smiled gratefully. "Thanks." He was met by a wide toothed grin in return. "What do I owe you? You know, for the baby stuff."

"Don't mention it. If you want, I can carry on feeding the baby. You look like you're struggling and I have a couple nephews, so I guess you could say I'm kind of a pro," the man said sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders as he noticed the awkward position of the child in Tonny's arms. 

"Yeah, okay, thanks." He replied, handing over the baby slowly, then placing the bottle on the bar counter. The man went to pick up the bottle, but instead held out a hand towards Tonny.

"I'm Will, by the way." He said. Tonny reached out and shook his hand firmly.

"Tonny."

"Nice to meet you, Tonny," said Will, before picking up the bottle and returning it to the mouth of the small child in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll try and upload regularly, any comments/kudos would be appreciated, I'm open to criticism :)


	3. The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonny makes a friend.

\-- _The tap was running cold, the sink filled with red tinted water and his hands were torn and fractured. The skin on his palms was rubbed raw and even after several minutes, the water would not run clean. His heart beat uncomfortably fast, threatening to burst through his chest._

__

__

_"The fuck are you doing?" Her voice is piercing. He turns to her, unable to respond. She frowns and puts a bloody cloth to her face in an attempt to stop the blood running in a steady stream from her nose, down past her lips, dripping slowly onto her white lace bra. "Hello? Some fucking help would be nice?" She shouts at him, and waits for a response before throwing the cloth at Tonny in frustration. "Fucking idiot," she mutters and storms off. He stares back down at the sink, his eyes frozen on the blood slowly running down the drain. --_

__

__

__

__

Tonny opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling above him. The nightmare wasn't the first he'd ever had, but it soon dawned on him that it wouldn't be the last time he dreamt of that night. He also knew that that wouldn't be the worst dream he'd have. Slowly, he sat up in the small double bed he'd been generously offered the night before. Looking beside him, he saw the baby was fast asleep in the makeshift cot that Will had been kind enough to put together for him. 

He smiled, then leaned back on one arm, realising that the sheet below him felt damp. Frowning, he turned his head and saw his jumper lying in a crumpled pile at the end of the bed, along with the duvet and one of the pillows, and remembered waking up sweating in the middle of the night. He sighed, and took a drink of water from the glass on the bedside table, then took a minute to look around the room.

He was too tired to notice much last night, and the room was fairly dark when he got there, but now in the light of day he couldn't help but be impressed by its appearance. The bed was on one side of the room, with a small, brown sofa and coffee table on the other and a small television beside them. The floor was covered in dark wooden planks, and the walls and ceiling were bare brick. It was simple but not cheap. Nothing like what Tonny was used to. Each wall was decorated with a single, large, black and white framed photograph, giving the room an artistic look which matched the atmosphere of the restaurant below. There was a wooden door beside the couch which lead to the bathroom, and he reluctantly dragged himself from the comfort of the bed and through the door.

Washing his hands, he couldn't help but notice the smell around him. He looked around and walked out of the bathroom where he noticed the smell had followed him. Only then did he realise the smell was coming from his body. Disgusted, he realised he hadn't showered in three days, and hadn't brushed his teeth in over twenty four hours. Usually, this wouldn't have bothered him, but considering he found himself in such a nice, clean space, he felt exceptionally dirty. Walking over to his discarded jumper, he picked it up and held it to his nose, before throwing it back down, appalled at the stench. He began to worry, and considered just putting up with the smell, before he noticed a pile of clothes on the sofa with a note on top. He picked it up and began to read.

Morning. Figured you might want to get out of those clothes. Tried to guess your size, sorry if wrong. Toothbrush, toothpaste + soap in bathroom cupboard. Put dirty clothes/ towels in bag and I'll wash. Come downstairs when done. - Will

Tonny frowned, before putting the note on the arm of the sofa and picking up the pile of clothing; boxers, black jeans, a white t-shirt and a white shirt. He checked on the baby once more before heading to the bathroom and taking a well needed shower, leaving the bathroom door open. The warm water was a welcome change against his skin, and he stood directly under the shower head, allowing it to wash over his face. As he looked at the water below him, running clear down the train, he couldn't help but bask in the feeling of cleanliness, something he hadn't enjoyed for a long time. He stayed there, content, for a few more minutes before rinsing the soap from his body and stepping out onto the white shower mat. 

He pulled on the underwear and jeans. The jeans were slightly tight on him, and the boxers too loose, but it wasn't a bother. Before putting on the t-shirt, he found a toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed his teeth vigorously for around five minutes, making sure his mouth felt as fresh as possible. Just as he finished rinsing his mouth with some water from the tap, there was a knock at the door. Tonny froze, unable to speak. He couldn't stomach the thought that someone had found him. Surely not yet? Surely no one could have known he was responsible? He was ready to run when there was another knock, and a voice accompanying it this time.

"Hey, it's Will. You up?" Tonny let out the breath he had been holding and placed the toothbrush on the edge of the sink, before walking over and opening the door. Will was standing in the doorway, dressed in a white shirt and black trousers the same as the day before, only today there was a pair of square glasses perched on his nose. Tonny smiled at him with tired eyes.

"I'm up," he said, stepping backwards and motioning with his hand for Will to come inside. He obliged and walked towards the sofa, before setting down a brown paper bag on the coffee table along with two cups of takeout coffee. Before Tonny had the chance to question him, Will began unpacking two small brown boxes from the bag and placed them on the table, then put the bag on the floor and looked up.

"I brought some breakfast. Thought maybe it would give us a chance to talk some more," Will said, taking one of the coffee cups for himself and motioning for Tonny to take the other. He looked at Will for a second, before taking a wooden stool from beside the sofa and going to sit down on the other side of the coffee table. "Oh, and I got some stuff for the baby too," Will said, taking some clothes and diapers from the bag and holding them out towards Tonny.

"You didn't have t-" Tonny sighed. "Thanks," he replied, taking the clothes from Will and walking over to the makeshift cot, lifting the sleeping baby from it. He laid the baby on the bed and began to change him, still talking with Will as he did.

"What's his name?" Will asked, nodding towards the baby and sipping from his cup. Tonny frowned. Through all of this he hadn't even realised that the baby didn't have one. His stupid addict of a mother hadn't bothered to give him one, and Tonny had been far too preoccupied to take the time to think of one.

"Uh, I don't know," he replied, slightly embarrassed.

"What, he not yours?" Will asked, sarcastically. Tonny laughed and raised his eyebrows.

"Na, he's mine. Or so I'm told. Haven't had the time to give him one." 

Will stood up and walked over to the bed, standing beside Tonny and looking down on the baby, who was now dressed in a plain white cotton baby grow. He hummed thoughtfully as he sipped his coffee.

"He looks like a William if you ask me," he said jokingly. Tonny scoffed.

"Yeah, you'd be fucking lucky." They both laughed and stood looking down at the child for quite some time, before Tonny finally had a thought. In high school he never did too well, and when he was in his final year they had threatened to expel him if he didn't pass his exams. Knowing this would anger his father, he spent many days hiding in the library, trying to stuff as much information into his brain as possible, with no success. Then, one day, a nerdy kid in his year saw him and joined him at his table. Usually, Tonny would've picked on kids like him, but when the kid began to give him advice, he welcomed it. By the end of the year, Tonny had managed to get himself both a passing grade and a new friend all in one go. That kid was one of the only people Tonny had ever cared about, truly, and this felt like a good way to honour him.

"I was thinking Lucas." He said thoughtfully, looking at Will. 

"Lucas is great," Will replied, smiling, before sipping his coffee and walking back over to the couch. Tonny picked Lucas up and put him back in the cot, figuring he would wait until he woke before feeding him again, and pulled on his white t-shirt before taking a seat on the stool he placed down earlier. He picked up his coffee and took a sip, before opening one of the brown boxes to reveal a fancy looking pastry with some small, round things scattered on top that he was sure he recognised. He looked at Will with a raised eyebrow.

"What is this?" He asked.

"Danish pastry. Would've thought you might have seen one before, living in Denmark and everything," Will replied with a slight laugh. Tonny sighed and rolled his eyes before taking a bite. It tasted surprisingly good, so he took a few more rushed mouthfuls before noticing Will looking at him with an amused smile. He swallowed and put down the empty box before wiping his mouth and trying to think of something to say, not wanting to seem rude.

"So," he began. "Why you here? You have an accent, American right?" 

Will nodded sipping his coffee, then leaned back on the sofa. "Yeah, I moved here about six months ago with my partner. More convenient for work, and it means we don't draw too much attention to ourselves."

Tonny nodded. "Work? What does she do then?"

Will shifted in his seat uncomfortably and took another sip of coffee. "Uh, he is an artist. Draws, paints, sells his work to galleries. He works in the city mostly." Will studied Tonny's face closely, aware that his choice of partner was not accepted by many, and caused a substantial amount of problems for them when they first arrived.

Tonny had never spoken to a gay guy for this long before. He was always taught that they were sick scum that were not to be respected. But the man sitting before him had given him a room, clean clothes and a nice meal all for free, clean clothes alone being more than his own father had ever provided him with. And so he decided that this was his new start, and he would begin to give people the same respect they gave him. Besides, he kind of liked Will, he was pretty funny after all. He smiled.

"That's pretty cool. I mean, I don't know a fucking thing about art but I bet he makes a killing, right?" Tonny replied, laughing as he finished off the last drop of coffee from the cup and held it in his lap. Will laughed in response, mostly from amusement, but partly relief.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. It's different from what he did back home and I think he likes the change, so," he trailed off, taking a bite out of a pastry he'd picked up whilst talking. Tonny decided to change the subject.

"How comes you got this place? And why so far from the city? Pretty shitty part of town, no offence."

"None taken, I figured some people in the town might like the change, and we live half way between here and the city so it's not too far of a commute for either of us. It suits me fine." Will shrugged before putting the empty cups and boxes into the bag, then shifting so he was sat on the edge of his seat. "Now, Tonny, I've been meaning to ask you a favour, and I hope you won't refuse."

Tonny frowned, sighed, then nodded his head. What did he have to lose? Will continued. "I need someone to tend the bar for me downstairs. My last guy left and I've had to fill in for the time being, but I really can't afford to be here as much as I am because it doesn't leave me any time for myself. So, if you want you could take the job downstairs, paid of course, and you stay here for as long as you want as well, free of charge," He said, gesturing with his hands to the room around him. Tonny sat still for a moment, before running his hands over his face and resting them behind his head.

"Sure thing. When do I start?" 

"I like your enthusiasm." Will said, smiling and picking up the bag of dirty clothes. "Put on a shirt and follow me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will start being longer after this one!


	4. Fresh Start

After pulling on the plain white t-shirt laid out for him, Tonny followed Will downstairs to the restaurant area. Will had insisted he leave Lucas upstairs, explaining in detail how to work the baby monitor he had set up in the baby's cot when they were putting it together, and despite this seeming perfectly reasonable to Tonny, he couldn't help but worry. Nevertheless, he tried to focus as hard as he could on Will as he was about to start telling him everything he needed to know about his new job, knowing that he was being given one hell of a lifeline, and he daren't let it slip away due to incompetence.

"So, luckily for you, it's a Saturday today," Will began. "In most cases, Saturday would be considered one of the busy days," he did an air quote motion with his hands around 'busy'. "However, considering our location, we've found that most people prefer to, uh, how can I put this lightly - drink in excess at the bar, throw up on our front step, forcing us to clean it up, and then come to us Sunday afternoon in hope of a hangover cure." He smiled at that last part, noticing Tonny's cheeks redden slightly at his words.

After all, Tonny knew full well what he was saying was true; it's how he would've spent his weekends, and sometimes most of his week if he found nothing better to do. Now, seeing things from the other perspective made him realise just how inconsiderate he'd been throughout his life. Will decided to continue speaking, filling the silence.

"Unfortunately I won't be able to walk you through your first shift, I'll have to leave you with Marcus," he said, nodding towards the blonde waiter from the previous night, who was busy setting out napkins. "Don't worry, he's not quite as clueless as he looks. Might be a little annoying, but just try and tune him out if he starts rambling, and I'll be back at around 8 to help you close up. That okay?"

Tonny couldn't bring himself to speak, overwhelmed having never worked an honest day in his life. He nodded at Will, who simply smiled, handing him a white half-apron and turning towards the door.

"Will," Tonny almost shouted, and then coughed awkwardly, lowering his head and walking over to Will. "Uh, I just wanted to say thanks again, and uh, you know, I'll try my best and stuff." He looked up at Will, silent for a few seconds, then held out a hand. Will shook it, then said goodbye to Marcus and left them to work. Tonny turned to walk over to the bar, but his path was blocked.

"So, guess you're the fresh meat." Marcus said with a smile, resting an elbow on the bar and throwing a dish towel over his shoulder. "I gotta say, I'm glad you've ended up here. When I saw you sitting in that corner last night, I didn't notice quite how nice your eyes were, but now in the light I can see they're so much more-"

Tonny held up a hand, palm facing outwards, causing Marcus to stop talking. "Not interested. Now tell me how the fucking coffee machine works and let me get on with it."

Marcus stood, disappointed, and threw the dish towel on the counter before walking over to the different contraptions and briefly explaining how to use each one.

"Green means go, red means stop," Marcus stated in a patronising manner, raising his eyebrows as he spoke. "You still with me?" He asked, staying exactly where he was. Tonny's face doesn't move a muscle. He simply leaned his hip against the counter, balancing on one leg and folded his arms across his chest. A slight look of fear crossed Marcus's face, before he coughed and straightened himself up. "You know, on second thoughts, I guess you can just take the orders for today."

Tonny nodded and smiled. "Yeah," he said smugly. "Sounds great."

Both men looked up as a young lady walked through the door, with a small girl in tow. The girl had a small blonde ponytail and was carrying a toy Golden Retriever puppy.

"My time to shine," Tonny whispered, pulling a notepad from under the counter and using it to hit Marcus on the back of the head as he walked past and took a pen from the pot beside the till and headed towards the now seated customers.

Only when he reached the table and was met with expectant eyes did he realise, he had no idea what to say.

Just do what they do on TV, he told himself, taking a deep breath and forcing his face into the best impression of a genuine smile he could muster.

"Good morning," he started. "How can I help you today?" The woman smiled and looked down, and Tonny followed her gaze to the young girl, who was chewing anxiously on her fingernail. She couldn't have been any older than five. "Would you like some juice? We have lot's of juice," he asked her, then immediately cursed himself for sounding like such an idiot. It took every inch of his control to stop his eyes from rolling due to his stupidity.

"I'm sorry, she's very shy." The lady began, causing Tonny to smile nervously.

"Oh, that's fi-"

"Why do you have that thing on your head?" The girl asked suddenly, causing both adults to turn abruptly at her sudden question. Tonny realised immediately that she was referring to the tattoo on the back of his head.

"Maja!" The woman responded, scolding the poor child and causing her to sob.

"No, no, it's okay, it's fine," Tonny replied, crouching down so he was on eye level with the child. "Your name is Maja?" He asked, and the girl nodded nervously. "That's a really nice name. Now, this thing on my head is a tattoo, it says 'respect', do you want to know why I have it?" She nodded again, and slowly stopped sobbing. "It's because I think respect is really important, and I think we should always respect other people. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah," Maja replies, now grinning from ear to ear, grateful for the patient conversation.

"Now, what do you say we get you some juice and get your little friend here some water so he doesn't get thirsty?" Tonny asked as he began to stand, and pointed at the stuffed animal in her arms. Maja agreed excitedly and he continued to take both of their orders before returning to the counter and greeting Marcus with a self satisfied smile.

-

By the time 6pm had rolled around, a few customers had come and gone and Tonny had checked on Lucas a couple of times, but now found himself sitting on a barstool folding a napkin into various unidentifiable shapes whilst Marcus leaned against the bar, texting and scrolling through Twitter.

Suddenly, there was a cry on the baby monitor, and Tonny shot out of his seat and bolted up the stairs. As he entered the room, he ran over to Lucas and immediately picked him up, rocking him back and forth and whispering for him to calm down. In truth, he didn't know what else to do. So, as usual, he began to address everything he thought might be wrong until he found the right thing. He changed the baby's diaper, washed him, fed him, and even resorted to singing when nothing else seemed to work. After some time, the baby finally fell asleep, and Tonny placed him carefully in the cot, before cleaning himself up and returning downstairs.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Marcus stopped him at the bottom of the stairs, putting one hand on his chest. "I've just been left on my own for the past forty-five minutes whilst you play happy families upstairs."

Tonny laughed, trying his best to avoid getting angry. "Whatever, I'm here now, get your hand off me," he replied, batting away Marcus' hand and beginning to walk away before he feels himself get pushed from behind. He turns to face Marcus.

"Don't walk away from me."

"Are you fucking serious right now? Did you just push me?" Tonny replied, laughing excessively to mask his rage.

"Maybe. So what? Can't touch me, can you? Wouldn't want Will to hear about that, or you'll be out of here before you know it."

Tonny scowled at the man standing in front of him. Or, more correctly, the boy. All he wanted to do was punch something, kick something, but he knew that would only end badly. Instead, he turned again, taking his apron off as he did, and threw it on a table on his way out. With the baby monitor in his pocket, he stepped outside and leaned against the wall once again, breathing in the cool air and looking up at the already black sky above him. But something interrupted his peace, and he stepped away from the wall, looking around.

He could hear someone shouting, a girl he assumed, and so he followed the sound to a road besides the restaurant. Leaning against a lamppost was a young woman who looked to be in her twenties, and in front of her was a man around the same age, holding her by the arms and speaking to her, his face uncomfortably close to hers. Tonny froze. The man was tall, a few inches taller than himself, with wide shoulders and short black hair. He looked like he could fold the lamppost in half if he wanted to. Aggressively, he moved his hand to rest on her thigh and she hit his shoulder, shouting for him to let go. This finally made Tonny move. He couldn't understand why he'd felt so compelled to help her; only a week ago, that man would've likely been him. But in the past few days, he had been trying to accept the fact that he was not the same person now, and this felt like the perfect time to prove that to himself.

"Hey," he said, walking towards the couple with his arms crossed. "All good here?"

The man simply scoffed and let go of the woman, turning to face Tonny, who immediately felt a lump in his throat. Seeing the man look him up and down made him immediately conscious of the fact that his slim physique would be nothing to compete with the mountain in front of him.

"All good," the man replied, crossing his arms as well, barely able to reach properly over his chest.

"Good. Good good." Tonny said, taking a few steps backwards and beginning to turn around, before walking back towards the man. "Actually, you know it just seemed like sh-"

-

When Tonny opened his eyes, he saw Will standing above him, waving a hand in front of his face. His lungs tightened involuntarily, and he turned on his back, retching on the sidewalk, with only water coming out. He felt a strong hand on his back, and as he turned around he felt another under his elbow, helping him stand. The shooting pain in his back did not go unnoticed, but the chill he felt in his bones urged him to push forward with the promise of warmth.

Once he was on his own two feet, he put an arm around Will's shoulders.

"Thought you weren't getting back 'til 8," Tonny mumbled, only now acknowledging the taste of blood in his mouth as he did. He spat on the pavement, turning so he didn't make any mess on himself.

"It's 8:45. I've been looking for you since quarter past." Will replied, breathing heavily from the exertion, and continued walking.

Tonny considered responding, but decided he was too cold and so he allowed himself to be guided back inside the restaurant, and towards the stairs. Marcus was sat on the bottom step, looking at his phone. The sight of the stairs was enough to make Tonny groan, but seeing Marcus made the noise actually escape his lips. The boy looked up, saw the two men and as soon as he registered Tonny's state, he shot up from his seated position and rushed towards them.

"Oh my God, Tonny what-"

"Fuck off Martin," Tonny replied, inhaling sharply as the simple act of talking sent a shooting pain up his side.

"It's Marcus you f-" Will shot him a stern look and he stopped talking. He continued to lead Tonny up the stairs slowly, taking them one at a time, and mouthed for Marcus to go home, listening as he heard the restaurant door shut a few moments later. Will knew they'd need as much space and privacy as possible to get Tonny cleaned up, and he didn't feel that Marcus's input would be helpful.

He couldn't help but sigh. This was going to be a long night.

-

Slowly, Will lowered Tonny onto the small brown sofa in his room, and made his way into the bathroom. After rooting through several cabinets, and running back downstairs for a glass, he returned and placed a half full glass of water and two ibuprofen on a small wooden table. 

"Take these, and drink all of the water." Will commanded, before walking back through to the bathroom.

Tonny looked at the tablets for a second, before slowly reaching over and picking them up, and proceeding to put them in between his teeth as he retrieved the water. A few gulps later and he placed the empty glass back down, noticing for the first time how much his hand shook as he did so. Blinking, he realised that he felt extremely cold despite the heating being on high in the room, and he could tell he was sweating furiously. It only took a few seconds for him to realise what was happening to his body. 

Withdrawal.

He sighed shakily and closed his eyes. The more he swallowed, the more he shook, and no matter how many deep breaths he took, there never seemed to be enough air. A hand on his shoulder caused his eyes to snap open as he looked up at Will, who had now removed his glasses and changed out of his white shirt, into a plain grey t-shirt. He reached down and hooked one arm underneath Tonny's, before helping him up off the sofa and into the bathroom.

Once inside, he helped him down to sit on the lid of the toilet, and began unbuttoning his shirt. On any other day, Tonny would've protested. He would've hit the man's hands away and spat profanities at him. But not now. Now, the only thing in the world that Tonny wanted was to rest, and if letting himself be taken care of would help that happen any faster, he was all for it.

Will undid the final button of the shirt and pulled it gently off Tonny's shoulders before hooking his fingers underneath the bottom of his now blood-stained white t-shirt and beginning to lift it. Tonny raised his arms up in compliance, and winced as he felt a throbbing pain in his left shoulder. As the top was pulled over his head, he began to study Will's face closely. The man looked him up and down, but every shift of his eyes was purposeful and practical. There was no clear emotion on his face, and no matter how hard he tried, Tonny couldn't figure him out.

"You don't seem all that bothered by this," he said, causing Will to meet his gaze for a second, before turning away to fetch a damp cloth. 

"Never been the squeamish type. Couldn't afford to be." He sat on the edge of the bathtub beside Tonny and began wiping semi-dried blood from his neck and shoulders.

"You a hit man or something? No, wait. Doctor, surgeon, something like that right?" 

Will laughed a little, still focusing on the task at hand. "Uh, no. I was a cop, actually. Then I did some teaching, then I had to consult for the FBI for a while. The FBI is lik-"

"Yeah I know what it is. What did you consult on?"

Will leaned over to rinse the cloth under the running tap. "Murder cases, mostly."

"Why did you have to do it? FBI's pretty big I'm guessing. Surely they could've found someone a bit more willing."

"Who says I wasn't willing?"

"You said you had to. Sounds to me like you thought it was a chore."

"You're not wrong there." Will threw the dirty cloth into the sink, before grabbing a towel and handing it to Tonny. "Dry yourself, I'm going to grab some bandages."

He stood up and began to leave the room, and Tonny watched him as he walked away. He knew he should say something, and he knew he wanted to, but he didn't know what. It occurred to him to spend the few minutes before Will returned thinking of the best way to ask what he really wanted to know. 

As Will walked back through the door carrying an arm full of first aid supplies, Tonny couldn't decide which phrasing of his question sounded the best, so he decided to simply blurt out the first thing that came into his head.

"Why are you here?"

"Excuse me?" Will replied, stopping in his tracks. Tonny sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that. I just don't understand what you're doing here."

"You don't need to."

Will put the supplies on the bathroom counter before grabbing a stool and placing it in front of Tonny. He sat down and picked up the tub of antiseptic cream and a cotton bud, and began dabbing it gently on the few cuts spread around Tonny's face. Both men were silent for some time, and Will could feel Tonny's eyes on him constantly, but kept his firmly on the cut which he was tending to at the time. 

"I hurt someone." Tonny said, still looking at Will. For the first time since he sat down, Will finally looked back at him as he leaned back on his stool and rested his arms on his legs. "Actually, if we're being honest, I did a lot more than hurt someone. I did a pretty bad thing." He paused. "That's why I'm here, since I know you were wondering." 

Both men sat in silence once again, this time making eye contact for almost the entire time, before Will eventually stood up and washed his hands in the sink, then sat back down with the bandages in hand.

"I'm just gonna put these over some of the cuts, you can take them off in the morning." Will stated, bluntly. Tonny simply nodded in response, and sat still as he was bandaged with care. 

When they had finished, Will brought him a clean t-shirt and a pair of jogging bottoms, and left him to change. He was still sweating and his hands still shook, but he was at least glad that he didn't feel as sore as he had. With his right hand he opened the bathroom door, and Will was putting together a makeshift sling for him on the couch. He walked over and was helped to put it on, then he sat down slowly and closed his eyes. After a moment, he heard footsteps moving away from him and he looked to see Will walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to get some food. I'm not gonna be long." Will replied smiling weakly.

"Oh. You will come back though, right?"

"I will."

-

Fifteen minutes later, Tonny and Will were sat side by side on the sofa, with a plate of toast in each of their hands. Will began eating immediately, but Tonny was apprehensive. Even so much as looking at the food made his stomach turn, but he knew he was hungry.

"Eat." Will said in between mouthfuls, but Tonny didn't move. Will took note of this and placed his half finished plate on the table before turning to face the other man. "Look, I won't lie to you, the likelihood is that at least half of that is gonna come back up. But, judging by how cold you are and how much you're sweating, along with the gram that I found when I washed your clothes, not eating isn't gonna be very productive at all."

Tonny was without words, and he didn't know what he was supposed to say, so he simply looked down at the plate in front of him and took a small bite. Will cursed himself and rubbed his eyes. He was tired, and he'd had a long week. He had offered his help to this man, and now was angry with him for no other reason than the fact he would be an inconvenience. He wasn't being fair.

"I'm sorry." He started, causing Tonny to look up as he chewed. "You don't have to eat it. I threw away what I found, and I'm not all that sorry I did, but if you want this job you're gonna need to be clean."

Tonny placed the plate down in front of him and swallowed before he spoke. "I will. I mean, I don't know how, but I'll do it."

Will smiled.

"I think my husband can help with that. I'll give him a call in a while and he can drop by and give us some medicine that'll help. I'm guessing you won't want professional treatment so it'll be harder, but we'll manage."

"We? I'm the one with the problem, you don't have to drag yourself into it. I'll be fine."

"We'll be fine. I'll help you. Besides, I need someone other than Marcus to charm my customers for me."

They both laughed and sat back, as Will turned on the TV to an episode of The Killing. It went on for a few minutes before he decided to speak again.

"You know you said you hurt someone?" Will said, causing Tonny to turn off the TV and look at him, giving his full attention. He stayed quiet, and waited for Will to continue, watching him closely as he straightens up and sighs. "I killed someone. A few people, actually. The first time, I killed a man who was about to kill his daughter. I killed him to save her, because I had to. And more recently, my husband and I killed someone. We had to kill him too, but I kind of didn't hate it as much as I should've." Will noticed Tonny's badly hidden confusion, and began to explain himself. He told him about Hannibal, their history and how he'd come to realise that their situation couldn't be rectified, and so Will made the decision for both of them. And then he told Tonny how he woke up a week later on a boat. How he had been fixed, and he'd walked onto the deck to find Hannibal eating eggs on toast and reading a book as though nothing had happened. 

"And now we're here. To everybody else, my name's Lenny Jacobs. You're actually one of the few people that knows my name is Will, so it would be good if we could keep it that way." He finished with a small smile that was more reassuring than pleading. For a moment, Tonny didn't know what to say. Everything he'd just heard told him volumes more about the man beside him than he could ever have imagined to be true.

"Do you still hurt people?" He asked, ignoring Will's request completely.

"Only if they hurt me. Or Hannibal. Or anybody else I care deeply for." 

Tonny thought about this. He had never liked hurting others, and yet he had to because that was what everybody expected of him. It's what people like him were meant to do. He understood doing things out of necessity, and finding out this new information about Will made him feel strangely at home here, as though he didn't have to feel ashamed about the bad things he'd done. Slowly, he picked up the remote and turned the TV back on, before sinking down on the sofa and closing his eyes. Will sunk to his level but stayed watching him, eager for a response. After a few moments, Tonny spoke.

"I understand, Will." 

Will let out a sigh of relief before closing his eyes and resting his head on the cushion behind him and allowed himself to drift off. It had been a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! And don't worry, I'll definitely be incorporating Hannibal more in the future, so stay tuned for that :)
> 
> p.s. feel free to let me know if you like these longer chapters, or would prefer them shorter!

**Author's Note:**

> There will hopefully be new updates every Sunday, but if I'm a bit late do not fear! It will get finished! Thanks for reading!


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